Apr-21-2018

IMAGINE IF YOU WERE HOMELESS- Part 1 of STREET PILGRIMAGE

Imagine Sign

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Imagine if you were homeless.
There I found myself, 47-years-old, sitting on a sidewalk begging for change in New York City. The air was cold and the longer I sat there, the more the chill cut to the bone. I had no idea where my next meal would come from. The sea of humanity swept around me as I blended into the background with my cardboard sign. No longer human, I was part of the familiar landscape of this renowned city. They say that if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere. I found myself amongst those who blended into the background, like part of the concrete, because they definitely weren’t making it and there was no light at the end of the tunnel either. How did I find myself here?

In the beginning of January, 2018 I put aside time to pray concerning what God would have me do in this new year. I asked for direction concerning myself, my family and the organization I lead, New York City Relief. As I listened to the voice of the Holy Spirit, I felt he was leading me to go live on the streets of New York City amongst the thousands of people with no place to turn. My thoughts were, “If someone like me doesn’t do this, who will?”

I believed that there was much to learn about people challenged with homelessness in New York City and much to learn from those same people. Even though I have worked with the unhoused for 14 years, I also know that I have done that from the safety of the “bubble” of how we do outreach with our organization. I wondered what we were missing and what the voiceless would say if they were given a voice.

The more I prayed about it, the more I knew that this could not be a social experiment or PR stunt, even though it might appear that way to some. This journey was to be a spiritual pilgrimage. I believed that if I really saw the homeless, I would see Jesus. If I really heard the homeless, I would hear Jesus. If I would take the time to know the homeless, I would come to really know Jesus.

I had no idea how entering into the brokenness of others would impact me, but I can tell you that it continues to impact me today. I do not claim to know or comprehend what it really means to be homeless. One week only gave me a glimpse into this other world where Jesus has always lived:

“I live in a high and holy place,
but also with the one who is contrite and lowly in spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.” Isaiah 57:15

My week on the streets was filled with heartache and hope. I had significant encounters with God. I experienced his presence constantly through the people I met. Some were those battling homelessness, some were people who gave to me as I panhandled, staff and volunteers from various soup kitchens and shelters and random strangers on the streets. I also experienced God’s presence heavily as I sought him alone in prayer and scripture. I pressed into his heart, hungry to see his face. I was not disappointed.

Each of the seven days, I took time to journal about all of my experiences in order to document what I was learning and where I saw God at work. I am breaking up this experience into many parts for you, the reader, to digest. Each month I will share part of my journey along with the lessons I learned from the friends I made. Maybe these articles will help you to see, hear and know those who exist on the fringes of society. Maybe God will give us the grace to feel what he feels about these modern-day lepers. Hopefully, we will gain insights into our own brokenness and feelings of isolation and know that Jesus is here for us also. In this way, the poor may become a mirror–helping us to see into our own souls. Maybe the poor will be used as tools in God’s hands to cure our blindness and heal our pain.

Day 1, March 11, 2018: Enter The Underbelly
After taking a train into Manhattan from New Jersey that Sunday morning, I jumped on a subway and headed to my first stop, a church made up mostly of people struggling with homelessness called Communitas. I got off at the wrong stop, then wandered around until I found the church which meets in the chapel of the New York City Rescue Mission. Because I was late, I missed the coffee time before service. The coffee was gone, but I ate half of a leftover bagel. The room was mostly full of about 80 people who sat quietly listening. You could see the weariness on their faces. They didn’t have many other places to go, and this was a refuge for them from the streets. It was a nice room with big screens which they used to play videos of worship songs being performed live at big events. After the music, the pastor, Christine Mayes encouraged the congregants from the microphone to seek God, not use the time to take a nap. Although she was sympathetic to those who were legitimately tired, she wanted them to receive something spiritually powerful. She was very caring and genuine.

Communitas

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Testimony at Communitas church

Pastor Chris asked for testimonies and a man battling homelessness spontaneously stood to share with the group how God was taking care of him. I was impressed by his faith in the midst of very challenging circumstances. According to this verse, I shouldn’t be surprised:

“Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him?” James 2:5

Craig and Chris

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Craig and Chris Mayes

Chris’ husband, Dr. Craig Mayes, gave the message that day. Craig is the former CEO of the New York City Rescue Mission, now Chief of Staff at The Bowery Mission who they merged with recently. Craig shared about becoming mighty men and women for God like David’s top three men and encouraged the audience to love and sacrifice for others. It was a very relevant and engaging message for the group that was well received. Overall, the whole environment that the Mayes created was peaceful, unlike some other services for the homeless that I visited that week. It was an atmosphere of warmth, and though some did take the opportunity to doze off, others found the solace and encouragement that they needed. It was an oasis in a city that can sometimes be hostile to it’s most burdened citizens. Communitas provided a space where they could lay their burden down for a few minutes and relax with their community.

After the service, the mission served lunch downstairs. While waiting for lunch to begin, I picked up a free Gideon Bible in the chapel to carry with me all week. I brought very little with me for this pilgrimage-only the clothes on my back and a backpack with a few Christian teaching books in it. The clothes I wore were some secondhand items that had been donated to New York City Relief-a ratty orange sweatshirt and a coat. The coat was a generic looking blue number and it was only when I was on the streets that I figured out that it was actually a woman’s coat complete with drawstring and zipper on the left. I wore a misshapen winter hat with a bill and some gloves with cut off fingers. Some key items I brought were a plastic container without a lid and a black Sharpie marker. More on these later. I was going to bring a blanket too, but in my haste, I forgot to bring it–doh! That was going to be a problem. It was still cold out in March–especially at night. The temperature outside was in the high 20’s to low 30’s all week, so below freezing.

After a big delicious lunch at NYC Rescue Mission I headed out to Madison Square Park. On the way I found cardboard on the street which I picked up to make a sign for panhandling. It was my plan to only eat what was given to me and only buy what I could afford from begging that week. I carefully tore the cardboard into a small enough size to carry in my backpack, but a large enough size to get people’s attention.

I had never panhandled in my life and wasn’t sure if people would give me anything. It was a weird feeling knowing that I was about to step into a new role that was completely foreign to me. I had seen people begging with signs many times over the years, and wondered what that must be like. Now I was going to found out exactly what they were going through.

I thought about what to write on my sign. I was determined not to lie in any way. I was not really homeless and decided not to say that to anyone. If anyone asked me, I would simply tell them that I was living on the streets which was completely true at the moment.

In a moment of inspiration I wrote on my cardboard, “IMAGINE IF YOU WERE HOMELESS. PLEASE HELP.” With my sign I asked others to do the very thing that I was trying to do-imagine what it must be like to live on the bottom, dependent on others generosity and strive to just survive from day to day. At the bottom of my sign I wrote, “God bless you!” I saw this written on the bottom of almost every beggar’s sign that I had ever seen. It gave authenticity, but I actually meant it too. I wanted God to bless those who were kind enough to help me out.

After finishing my sign, I read three chapters in my new Bible while sitting in the sun at the park. Then I made my way to Penn Station, where I would beg for the first time in my life.

 

Panhandling

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Panhandling at Madison Square Garden


Stepping Down To The Bottom
I picked a spot near a corner, not far from the main entrance to Madison Square Garden. Little did I know that the Knicks were playing that day. An ocean of people poured out of the Garden and walked right past me. Many never saw me. I mostly saw their shoes as I sat on the concrete with my head down and my sign in my hands. I was surprised as one person after another put money in my plastic container. Most put coins in quickly and dashed off before I could thank them properly. Not only did they not want to engage with me, I could tell that they were uncomfortable even looking at me. It was a humiliating feeling to be so low that people felt leery around me. I was no longer a “safe” person. My character was questionable. Begging is a shameful activity. Sometimes people walking by would catch eyes with me and quickly and awkwardly look away. It reminds me of when Isaiah prophesied about how Jesus would be treated:

“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.” Isaiah 53:3

It’s a blessing to give, but receiving feels lousy. No one wants to be dependent on others. It was during some of these times begging that I remembered that Jesus was dependent on those who supported him financially during his three years of active ministry. He received their charity graciously. The Bible mentions several times that it was in this kind of lifestyle that he found himself hungry, with not enough food to eat.

Even though many people were brusque, I was extremely touched that they would take the time to help me out with a dollar or some spare change. I would quickly say, “Thank you, God bless you.”, as they marched off. I began to cry as I begged-partially in thankfulness for people’s kindness and partially because of the realization of how many people beg like this for many years of their lives. How do they do it? I prayed quietly for each person who put money in my cup-that God would bless them and provide for all of their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. One young man gave me ten dollars which really blew me away. I was equally amazed when a small child put four pennies in my cup. I went through a whole range of emotions as people offered me these gifts. I collected a total of $24.56 that day.

Several people gave me food. I was given an apple and a sealed bag of peanut M&M’s. One man even asked me if I would like a hotdog. The interaction with the man was very touching, because I could feel his compassion for someone in trouble. He took the time to go and order me a hot food and boy did it hit the spot. People like him cared enough to do something about my pain. Rather than turn away, they moved into action. Reminds of me of the verse in the Bible that says,

“If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James 2:16,17

I don’t know if faith was a factor in motivating people to feed me, and at the time, I didn’t care. What moved me was their actions, because they were helping me to survive. Part of the reason I could deal with all of the people passing me by is because of the few who would stop to acknowledge me by reaching out a helping hand.

Other people gave me unpleasant gifts-half-eaten food and cold french fries. I suppose they thought they were being kind and that if I was starving, it would help. In reality, it made me feel like garbage because they saw me as degraded enough to eat their trash. I tried not to judge and to assume they had the right intentions, but it was tough.

It was evident to me that all of the ticket holders to the Knicks game that day had each been given a personal sized bag of Garden Veggie Straws, a type of snack food. I was grateful for each bag they gave me, but soon became overwhelmed when I collected 14 bags. This was humorous and strange to have so much “food”. After I ate a few Veggie Straws I discovered why they were so happy to share them with me. They taste a little like Styrofoam. Still, I was thankful for their generosity and figured I could share them with others who were hungry later.

My head was spinning from all of these encounters with strangers when my most shocking interaction took place. A man who I assumed was homeless asked me if I was hungry. I showed him the 14 bags of Veggie Straws and said that I had a lot of food. The man said, “Don’t eat that crap. Have some real food.” He handed me a big plastic bag full of fresh food sealed up in containers and plastic wrap. There were gourmet deli sandwiches, salad and soft pita rolls. I was dumbfounded and asked him for his name. He said it was Asa. I thanked him for his incredible generosity.

Asa obviously didn’t have much, yet he gave me somethings that were extremely valuable. Who was this guy and why would he do that? It was the last thing that I expected. It wasn’t the last time I met him that week or the last time he helped me. After my pilgrimage was over I discovered the story behind the story and found out why he was so selfless. More about Asa will be revealed in future articles.

Blanket

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Juan on the streets

I made my way over to a discount store and bought myself a snuggly blanket for $8. I knew I would need it that night and was glad that I had collected enough money to purchase one. The only color I could choose from was a crazy pink pattern, but I didn’t care because I just wanted to stay warm.

It was an emotional first day on the streets and I had gotten through it. The night was coming, however, and I knew it was going to be a tough one. I would be attempting to sleep on a moving subway train and that was daunting. Would I sleep at all? I didn’t know. This was only the beginning of a long, exhausting and profound journey.

Stay tuned for my next article in this series titled, Night Train.


Posted under Uncategorized
Dec-8-2017

A Longer Table

“When you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence.”

I love this quote. It inspires me to live a more generous life, rather than use what I have to insulate myself from other people and their problems.

The problem is that we have usually have a skewed idea of what we need. Many people plan on being generous and sharing with others if they ever hit the lottery. For many, that is the only way they will miraculously have everything they need.

In the book Money, Possessions and Eternity, Randy Alcorn gives stats on our wealth in relation to the rest of the world:

If you made $1,500 last year, you’re in the top 20% of the world’s income earners.

If you have sufficient food, decent clothes, live in a house or apartment, and have a reasonably reliable means of transportation, you are among the top 15% of the world’s wealthy.

The point is that we all have more than we need, so it’s time to build a longer table. It’s time to put our wants aside for other’s needs to be met. It’s not all about finances either. Making space at the table doesn’t just mean buying more food. It means making space for more people and different kinds of people to be valued in your life.

Table ministry 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

New York City Relief operates outreaches every week to people who are living on the streets and a key component of that is literally making a place for them at the table. Around the bus we use to serve food and drinks, we set up tables and chairs on the sidewalk. It can seem like a small accommodation, but a friend named Christoph who came to The Relief Bus for assistance, helped us see how important it is:

Christoph

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christoph sharing his story inside of The Relief Bus

“Thank you for giving them tables and chairs to make them feel like people. That little bit of stuff you do to take away homelessness for the time that you spend with them, that touches hearts and changes lives. Thank you for not giving up on us and them when the rest of their families have. You show that God doesn’t give up, just by you being here.” See a powerful video of Christoph sharing his story of life transformation here.

One of our key concepts is that we are sharing communion, not charity. By breaking bread together on the sidewalks, we demonstrate that we are all on an equal level. These are great opportunities to ask people to share their thoughts, dreams and opinions. That’s what friends do

By making a place at our table, we make a place for people to stop, rest, be seen, heard and valued. The alternative is shuffling off to a dark corner by themselves to eat hastily. The alternative is isolation.

“When you have more than you need, build a longer table, not a higher fence.”

I think the reason we sometimes build fences and cling to what we have is because we had to work so hard to get it. We earned our living and have a right to what is ours. The apostle Paul explains that actually one of the goals of earning through hard work is that we can then help others:

You yourselves know that these hands of mine have supplied my own needs and the needs of my companions. In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”- Acts 20:34,35

How can you build a longer table? Sign up to volunteer with New York City Relief or some other organization that befriends people in need. Use that opportunity to not just give one-sided charity, but to connect with others on a deep level. Risk letting others into your heart.

Building a longer table is what God did for us by sending Jesus. Ironically, he was a carpenter and could literally build tables. He made a place at the table for people that his own society rejected. Lest we forget, you and I were the outsiders who he welcomed to the table as well.

Jesus could have built a higher fence, but instead he tore the old fence down. The law was insufficient and left too many out in the cold who couldn’t live up to those standards. The cross became the table that made room for everyone to come and feast on God’s presence.

Here is the reality of building a longer table- when we make room for others, we make more room for Jesus as well. He says,

Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”- Revelations 3:20

Jesus is knocking. Can you hear him? He wants to know if you have room at your table. Time to build a longer table.

Table ministry


Posted under Uncategorized
Nov-7-2017

The Wrecking

Scott and Tania

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My friend Tania Hansen wrote this moving description of her night serving homeless friends on The Relief Bus. Her husband is Assistant Director of Outreach, Scott Hansen.

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Last night I had the great pleasure and privilege of joining Scott and Kai and an amazing team of New York City Relief volunteers on the streets of NYC. Not only did I get to experience serving under my husband’s leadership and witness my sweet son’s kind and gentle compassion in action, I also got to meet Henry* (name changed, of course, to protect his privacy).

I held Henry’s hand as he told me his story. One of seven children, living in extreme poverty, a childhood marked by violence and abuse. With tears streaming, he told of the beatings he endured trying to protect his beloved mother and siblings from his father’s brutal attacks. A childhood of fear, lack, misery and eventual abandonment.

A childhood broken and stolen.

Brokenness that manifested later as an adulthood of severe alcoholism.

Henry believed he could beat it. He believed he could have and give something better. He worked two jobs and got married and had a daughter. He believed he could overcome his dark and painful beginnings and his alcohol addiction.

Sadly, after losing his childhood and family to abuse and neglect, the alcoholism stole what he had left: his jobs, his health, his marriage and his relationship with his treasured daughter.

hat

“I have no one and nothing left.”
Weeping, he looked down at his lap.
His words slurred, “I have this hat.”

It was a Saturday night in Manhattan. Beautiful people in their beautiful clothing, hustling by on the sidewalk, headed to their evening outings in the magically mild October breeze.
Not seeing Henry. Not seeing his shaking hands, his tattered clothing, his story, his pain.

It’s so much easier to not see.

It’s so much more comfortable to dismiss and label the homeless person in the dark corner as a bum, hobo, degenerate, junkie, loser, panhandler, beggar. Labels that allow us to look away, because “they” have made their bed, and now they can lie in it.

I honestly don’t know how Scott and his colleagues step into the pain on the streets day after day, week after week. Coming face to face with sorrow and despair will wreck you to the core.
In the most holy way.

God, thank you for the wrecking.


Posted under Uncategorized
Nov-6-2017

What Can I Do About Homelessness?

Vice President of Outreach Operations Josiah Haken shared the following excellent and helpful article in his blog at http://thereliefbus-teamhaken.org/

ENJOY!

What Can I Do About Homelessness?

Wanda during our August 2017 Harlem outreach.

The most common question that I get about homelessness is simply, “what should I do?”

“I see someone panhandling on the sidewalk, what should do?”

“I’m waiting for my train in Penn Station and there are people everywhere who appear to have no train to catch and no way to catch it, what should I do?”

“Someone approaches me and asks for money, what should I do?”

“There are 60,000 men, women, and children in the NYC shelter system, what should I do?”

The reason why people want to know the right thing to do is because they are so afraid of doing the wrong thing. They don’t want to enable someone to remain homeless, they don’t want to make a bad situation worse, and they don’t want to put themselves in a scenario that can get out of control. So, because well intentioned folks don’t know what they should do, they do… nothing. If you hear nothing else, hear me now: doing nothing is not acceptable.

So, I’m going to walk you through some simple steps that will hopefully empower you to do SOMETHING.

The first thing you can do is decide. Decide that our homeless neighbors are not just a nuisance or an eyesore, but human beings who are made in the image of God and deserve our respect, our consideration, and our time.

But it can’t stop with a decision. Decision needs to lead to action. One simple step you can take is to put your phone away as you walk from point A to point B. Too many of us are walking the streets of NYC with headphones in our ears, and screens in our faces, and as a result, we are walking right past men and women who are lonely, struggling, and disabled.

One time I was in Penn Station waiting for my train, listening to music, lost in my own world, and it took someone three tries to break through and get my attention before I tentatively removed a single ear bud and heard him out as he asked me for change. We need to put our phones away and focus our attention on the people that we walk past, sit next to, and travel with. It is physically impossible to love a neighbor that you don’t see.

Our volunteers learn how to listen first.

Once you see the human being right in front of you, you should engage. Believe it or not, I don’t much enjoy approaching strangers. It just feels uncomfortable. I feel like I’m bothering the person. I think things like, “he doesn’t want to talk to me.” Usually, by the time I walk up to someone, I’ve managed to create an elaborate backstory in my head about his aversion to people and why the next guy who comes across his path will get the full brunt of his frustration and anger.

Now, I don’t even like when the UPS guy delivers a package to my house because he always rings the doorbell, which sends my dog into a mindless fit, and in that split second, I have to decide if opening the door is worth the risk of talking to someone I don’t know.

But at least I have a door to hide behind if I want to. Our friends who are homeless don’t often get the luxury of having someone ring the doorbell. Most well-intentioned people just storm through the front door like Kramer on Seinfeld. Please don’t barge into someone’s space and assume that just because he or she is homeless, she don’t get a say in whether or not she talks to you. This may sound overly simple, but you can ring the doorbell of any homeless person by making eye contact and saying, “hi.” If the person ignores you, pretends you’re not there, or curses you out, just take a hint, and assume that no one is home.

Homelessness is intrinsically lonely. The truth is, for every one homeless person who wants to be left alone, ignored, or behaves obnoxiously, there are ten more who are desperate for a friend.

So engage by ringing doorbells left and right. Be the person who refuses to let our brothers and sisters in the street go another hour before someone reminds them that they exist and that they matter. Don’t punt that responsibility to someone else, because someone else might not be coming. Once you ring the doorbell and the person invites you in, by responding positively or answering your question, don’t forget that standard, socially acceptable rules of conversation apply.

One time, I was sitting on the floor of Penn Station chatting with a new friend when a woman walking past us stopped abruptly, looked at my friend (totally ignoring me), and said, “my church feeds the homeless outside every Thursday. You should come. You need it!”

She didn’t say, “hello.” She didn’t introduce herself or ask for my friend’s name. She didn’t even find out if he was homeless before declaring him to be one of “the homeless.” My friend handled the interruption far more graciously than I would have. He smiled. Thanked her and explained that he was ok and she walked on without saying goodbye.

When you meet someone at a party, you typically don’t open with, “Are you homeless?” That’s just awkward.

Start at the beginning. What’s your name? Where are you from? What do you like to do for fun? How’s your day going?

If someone is truly in acute need, these kinds of questions will quickly reveal what’s going on. If he or she isn’t interested in a longer conversation, that will also become clear.

Don’t feel pressure to guide the conversation. Just show interest in the human being standing or sitting right in front of you.

If the person does tell you they need money, or a ride, or a ticket somewhere, don’t freak out.

I feel like every day the city is full of people walking around terrified that someone will ask them for money. As though the moment someone asks you for a dollar you either have to empty your bank account into his cup or he might kill you!

Personally, I don’t like giving money to people in the street. Not because I’m worried about them spending it on drugs or alcohol, even if that’s what some folks do, but I don’t give money to people because I’ve found that it sets up an unhealthy relationship dynamic.

I also like to ask people why they are asking complete strangers for money. I feel like once someone opens that door, it’s okay to walk through it.

So the guy who approached me in Penn Station asked me for some change so I asked him why he needed the cash. He answered by saying, “I’m going to be honest, I’m an alcoholic and I need to go buy a beer.” I thought, man, you picked the wrong guy to ask for money…

When you ask why someone is asking for money, sometimes people will open up and give you the Gospel truth. Other times they will lie to your face. But please try to remember that lying is not unique to homeless people.

It’s not your job to discover if the person you are talking to is lying. Especially if you decide ahead of time that you have a personal policy about giving cash to strangers. It really doesn’t matter if the person is telling you the truth, because you can’t be hustled if you’re not giving money. And if you decide to give money, recognize that it’s no longer yours and you can’t judge them for how they spend it.

This is one reason I don’t recommend giving money to strangers.

I’m way more likely to judge people and put expectations on them when I give them money. It’s easy to feel like they owe me something, but since I don’t expect homeless folks to pay me back, I tend to demand repayment in things like respect, appreciation, or even a photo that I can post on my social media feed for some applause from my peers.

The issue isn’t panhandlers, it’s me.

If someone does ask you for money and you decide ahead of time that you aren’t going to give them any, try being honest. Don’t tell the person, “I don’t have any.” Say, “I don’t give money to strangers.” One time I told someone that and he got mad, “why don’t you just lie to me?”

I said, “because you deserve better than that!”

If you want to have something to give to someone who is asking for help, I recommend new socks. Most of you probably walk around NYC with a backpack, briefcase, or purse. Why not buy a pack of new socks at the store and just throw one pair in there for someone that you might meet as you walk around the city? You could also carry gift cards to Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. These cards don’t just buy coffee for someone, they also buy a few minutes of heat or air conditioning.

If you want to take an even bigger leap into the world of engagement, instead of just giving someone a gift card for coffee, try offering to treat someone to coffee. Some of my best conversations have happened over a shared meal with someone who asked me for money.

The next thing to remember is that Boundaries are healthy. If you meet someone for the first time, second time, or third time, please don’t bring that person into your apartment for a shower.

Boundaries are always easier to take down than set up, so make sure you establish them right up front.

If the person asks where you live, you can be vague and use general language. If the person pushes the issue, feel free to say that you don’t give that personal information to people that you just met.

If someone says something inappropriate to you, tell the person that you won’t be friends with someone who talks to you that way.

Ladies, please remember that many of the men who are in the street were never taught how to appropriately engage with an attractive woman. If someone says something offensive to you, feel free to say, “that’s offensive. I can’t be around someone who talks to me that way.” If someone curses you out, just him goodbye and walk away. That’s what you would do for anyone else, there’s no need to surrender your safety, dignity, or well-being just because someone is homeless.

At the same time, boundaries work both ways. It’s up to us to make the person we are engaging feel safe as well. Did you know that statistically speaking, homeless folks are way more likely to victims of violent crime than you or me?

It’s not a good idea to approach someone with a big group, or to make someone who is sitting on the sidewalk feel intimidated by hovering over them. It’s always helpful to ask permission before sitting down next to someone.

It’s also not a good idea to wake someone up. Homeless folks average anywhere from 2–4 hours of sleep every 24 hours.

I don’t know about you, but sleep is precious to me. I can’t imagine not being able to crawl into my own bed every night.

The last thing I would want when I fall asleep is to have some strange person poking me or yelling in my direction so that they could give me a pair of socks. Just let them sleep.

Feel free to look for signs of life. Make sure their chest is going up and down or their lips aren’t blue (especially in the winter time), but if they appear to be in relatively good health, let them be.

Another good principle of productive engagement is “2 way conversation.” As we’ve heard about tonight and as we know, mental illness is a real thing, and drugs and alcohol can be legitimate barriers to healthy relationship.

So, don’t force it. If someone is in full blown psychosis, or extremely volatile because he is drunk or high, don’t choose that opportunity to have a chat. In those situations, you can call 311 and report that someone who appears to be homeless is having a bad day and could use some assistance. Or if there is a police officer nearby, you can ask them to keep an eye on the individual because you are concerned for his safety as much as anyone else’s.

Just use two-way conversation as a guide to know if this is going to be a healthy step in the right direction.

The last thing that you can do is learn about the resources and the organizations that are around to help folks who are struggling with homelessness on their journey.

Learn where the free beds are for people with no place to sleep. Learn where the drop-in centers are. Learn about the city shelter system. Sign up for mental health first aide training. Sign up for Overdose Prevention Training.

Guys, we live and work in the city with more resources for folks who are struggling than any city in America. Take advantage of it.

If you’re too nervous to engage people on your own, sign up to volunteer with New York City Relief. Contact us at volunteer@newyorkcityrelief.org.

Please don’t own the responsibility of saving someone from homelessness. But please don’t ignore the responsibility of being a good neighbor. I think it’s easy to assume that because the folks struggling with homelessness in our community don’t have doors, or doorbells, they aren’t our neighbors.

In the first century one of the religious leaders asked Jesus a similar question: “who is my neighbor?”

In response Jesus tells the famous story of the Good Samaritan. It’s the story of a stranger who was walking home after a long day of work, but who clearly didn’t have his headphones in his ears or a phone in his hand, because he noticed the man crumpled in a ball on the sidewalk. I’m sure he rang the man’s metaphorical doorbell by asking if the person was ok and checking to see if he was breathing. Then he engaged by calling the guy a cab and transported him to the ER. But he didn’t just leave him there. This religious and cultural outsider made sure that the man he met would be treated and cared for.

My friends, most homeless folks will not require that level of emotional and physical investment. But just because someone doesn’t have a doorbell, apartment, or house, doesn’t mean that he is not your neighbor.

So, “what should you do?” DO SOMETHING.

~Josiah Haken: V.P. of Outreach Operations, New York City Relief


Posted under Uncategorized
Jul-5-2017

The Shame Attendant

jimmy stewart

Over my lifetime I have had many moments in which I was plagued with anxiety and depression. It has been a cycle that is sometimes crushing. Inevitably, in the midst of my pain I would do an emergency triage on my soul to find out what the roots of my emotional distress were. Very recently, this happened to me again…

I was in the midst of an exciting time of strategic planning with the organization I lead, New York City Relief. It was exciting because God was giving us the wisdom and direction we needed in order to move forward in our mission to help more friends living on the streets to experience life and freedom.

While I was in total agreement with our leadership team about the direction we were headed and next steps, I began to take the burden of these changes completely upon myself. I began to have the irrational fear of making a misstep and doing major damage. The weight I felt was immense.

In addition, we had a pillar of our team and one of my best friends, Bill Hoffman leave the ministry after 27 years to relocate to California and start a new chapter in his journey with God. I was happy for him and sad for me. One of my safest places was a friendship and working relationship that was now on the opposite coast.

I also had a project that I had been working on for two years simply stall and go nowhere. I have been looking for a new and larger building for New York City Relief to facilitate our growth. After looking at many buildings, talking to many townships and trying to navigate the strange small city political landscape of New Jersey, I came up empty. What did that say about me?

shame-on-you

While I was experiencing these events, so was my “shame attendant.” In the book The Soul of Shame, author and Christian psychiatrist Curt Thompson speaks of the influence of shame in our lives as an attendant who is lurking by our side, giving a warped and negative perspective on life events to confirm how inadequate we are. He says, “Shame wants to alter our stories by telling its own version. It is both a source and result of evil’s active assault on God’s creation.”

During this time of feeling oppressed and overwhelmed, I received an email from a good friend who felt that they had a word from God to share with me. She wrote, “I saw you in this rusty iron cage. It was small, claustrophobic and dark. You couldn’t see outside of the cage so your perspective was from the inside of this cage. On the outside the world was so colorful, bright and airy.  I saw the greenest trees and the bluest sky. The enemy is trying to cloud your perspective.  He is trying to plant lies of doubt, fear and failure (represented by the cage).  The truth is outside the cage. The truth is God’s perspective.” She couldn’t have been more correct.

I realized along the way that the anxiety I was feeling was that I would fail, causing me to be exposed as being incompetent. Being seen as weak equated in my mind to being the ultimate shame. Something inside me wanted to be a strong leader that everyone could count on. I began to feel more and more shut down and drew inside myself.

hide shame

This is what shame wants, for us to live in isolation rather than in relationship. Shame’s mission is to disrupt connection between people. Why? Because it knows that humans thrive when we are in honest, healthy relationships. The “shame attendant” is out to destroy. Its message is that we are not okay and that when people know the real us, they won’t want to have anything to do with us.

The parts of us that feel most broken and we keep most hidden are the parts that most desperately need to be known. Dr. Thompson says, “For only in those instances when our shamed parts are known do they stand a chance to be redeemed. We can love God, love ourselves or love others only to the degree that we are known by God and known by others.”

Dealing with my own sense of shame causes me to think of the people we serve at New York City Relief. How do our friends challenged with homelessness grapple with the shame that is heaped upon them? How can God use our staff and volunteers to break through this assault upon their souls?

I would like to share the story of how God put a beating on the “shame attendant” of a man we met on the streets named Christoph. As an orphan escaping from Vietnam, Christoph was placed in a foster home in America where he was abused by his foster parents. Afterwards he was bounced through 16 more group homes and foster homes. As a teenager Christoph became homeless and got involved with gangs who became his only family. He eventually got married, but when his marriage fell apart he ended up on the streets of New York City working as a male prostitute to survive. Christoph said, “When you are living on the streets, you are humiliated. You (The Relief Bus) give (the homeless) a tiny bit of pride that uplifts them and encourages them. Never have I felt the love of God more in my life.”

Christoph

In this dramatic video, Christoph details the amazing story of how lost and isolated he was until he met friends at The Relief Bus who became companions in his journey to freedom. Satan had used every wound and failure in Christoph’s life as “proof” of how worthless he was. Outreach Director Brett Hartford assisted in getting Christoph the help he needed to get off of the streets to start life over again.

Christoph said, “You hugged me and said you loved me. I didn’t want to let go. You said to give God the honor and glory because it comes from him. He works through people. Thank you for not giving up on us when the rest of the world has. You show that God doesn’t give up.”

Like Christoph, God has used trusted people in my life to speak forth God’s truth and reality- that I am not alone. Counselors, mentors, family and friends were used by God to pull the scales off of my eyes and the burden off of my heart. The weight is lifted, my eyes turned back to the lover of my soul.

As president of New York City Relief, it is my job to make sure that when people in need come to one of our outreaches, they find a community that offers a non-judging ear and a helping hand out of the cage of shame. As steward of my own heart, God is calling me to courageously share my weakness and brokenness with people around me who love me. In this way I can cut the legs out from under the “shame attendant” who tries to drag me down.

When I connect myself to the body of Christ through intentional vulnerability, I connect myself to the head which is Christ. This is the place of safety and connection that my soul longs for. The voice of the shame attendant becomes only a faint whisper, drowned out by the roar of the Holy Spirit who sings songs of delight over me. I breathe deep and my heart swells with the joy of being wanted.

“Hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:1-5


Posted under Uncategorized
Jun-2-2017

Top Ten Homeless Outreach Tips

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Have you ever walked by someone who is homeless, been moved in your heart to do something, but didn’t know what would be appropriate or even safe? A lot of us feel a twinge of guilt when we ignore a person who is obviously in great need. Something inside of us knows that we should do something.

I believe that we can overcome our feelings of nervousness, discomfort and social awkwardness to have a meaningful interaction with the homeless that might be life changing for both parties involved. I know this because for the past 14 years I have seen this happen firsthand during our outreaches to homeless friends with New York City Relief.

No one is better at training others to effectively engage with people challenged with homelessness than Josiah Haken, Vice President of Outreach Operations at New York City Relief.  In his blog he gives his top ten tips on how to approach and connect with a homeless person. Life is too short not to love the hurting people around us. Here is some great advice from Josiah on how to get started:

TIP #1

Enter into a conversation:

  • Lead by asking for the person’s name. Repeat it. Say “Nice to meet you ‘Joe.’”
  • It’s important that the person hears you calling him by name.
  • It will also help you remember his name later on.
  • If you end up praying for the person, do so by name.
  • Offer your first name. There is no need to share your last name right out of the gate.

Josiah helping woman

TIP #2  

Listen.  Bring nothing into your listening.  Just Listen.

  • Don’t just tell her what you think, actually hear her.
  • Even if she is telling a story that you think, or even know, is impossible, simply give her the chance to say her piece. Take everything she says as the “gospel” truth.

1 Corinthians 13:7 says that “love hopes all things” so always hope she is telling you the truth, unless what she is asking of you requires some action that you feel is unwise or unsafe.

_______________________________________________

TIP #3

Ask questions.  Learn something about your new friend.

  • “Where are you from?” “Do you have family in the area?” “Are you a sports fan?” “Do you believe in God?” Show interest. Be quick to laugh at his jokes, but don’t force it.
  • The more interest you show, the deeper you’ll go. Your conversations will be as shallow as your ability to demonstrate that you care about his or her story.

_______________________________________________

TIP #4 

Be Clear About Personal Boundaries.

  • Just as you make it clear that he or she can be honest with you, don’t be afraid to be honest about personal boundaries with the person you just met. If someone asks why or seems annoyed that you are self-protecting, you can always say, “I just met you! I don’t know who you are!”
    • You are allowed say things like, “I won’t do that.” “I can’t do that” etc…
    • Don’t give out your personal information (phone number, address, email, social media) until you have an established relationship with the person.

EVEN THEN, be wise and don’t do or share anything you wouldn’t with someone you just met at the movie theater or bar.

______________________________________________

 TIP #5 

Be Clear About Physical Boundaries.

  • Don’t make anyone feel trapped. Never approach someone with more than 2 people. Don’t hover over an individual who is sitting on the sidewalk or laying down on a bench. If necessary, kneel down or ask for permission to sit next to the person.
  • If you have the option, approach folks with someone of the same gender.  Many homeless women have had terrible experiences with men and will open up more quickly with a female volunteer.

_______________________________________________

Josiah and couple

 TIP #6

 If someone asks you for money….

  • Feel free to say that “I’m sorry, but I have a personal policy about giving money to strangers.”
    • WHY? Monetary exchange is almost always a poor foundation for a healthy relationship.
    • If someone is panhandling, ask for permission to take some of his or her time.

Don’t assume that he or she wants your company.

By asking, you will show the person respect as a human being and he or she will be more likely to hear what you have to say or be open to your company.

_______________________________________________

 TIP #7

Giving stuff away.

  • Always prioritize 2-way conversation over bulk distribution. Be wise about how you give things away in high population spots like public transportation stations, busy tourist spots, or in front of a drop-in center or emergency shelter. Don’t make a scene or you might just get a scene.
  • If you have socks, blankets, or toiletries to give away, simply ask the person if he or she would be interested. Don’t assume that he is.
  • If he or she says ‘no’, ask if he/she might know someone who would be interested.
  • If the person expresses a need that can be met by running to the store and buying something small, feel free to do so. Never give the person cash for the same item.
    • GIFT CARDS ARE GREAT (McDonald’s or Dunkin’ Donuts allow the man or woman to purchase something that will give her a safe, warm place to sit and enjoy a meal after you leave).

_______________________________________________

TIP #8

Don’t wake anyone up. It’s just rude.

  • Homeless folks sometimes average 2-3 hours of sleep a night. They are often awakened by police and security guards and moved indiscriminately. This makes sleep precious.
    • Feel free to observe whether his chest is going up and down. Make sure his lips are not blue.

IF you think someone may not be breathing or his lips are blue, call 911 immediately and loudly say, “excuse me, sir!”

_______________________________________________

TIP #9

 Don’t leave items next to a sleeping person.

  • These things will probably just get stolen anyway.
  • And if someone is already stealing the pair of socks (or item you left), they might help themselves to the person’s backpack or wallet, with all their ID’s in there, while they’re at it.

Again, relationship is the goal. 

_______________________________________________

TIP #10

If the person seems intoxicated, high, or in an unpredictable mental state….

  • Do not extend the conversation. Just be kind and compassionate, but assume that this is probably not the best time to make a heart connection over coffee.
  • If the person seems completely out of control or volatile, please call 911 or 311 depending on how severe the situation might seem.

Use common sense.  Don’t call 911 because there is a homeless person talking to himself.

_______________________________________________

FINAL NOTE:  In seeking out people to serve and talk to, if you cannot find anyone just ask local cops where homeless folks usually hang out. If you literally can’t find a single person to engage, just thank God that everyone in your area appears to have a place indoors. The average life expectancy for someone who is homeless is approximately thirty years shorter than those who are housed (National Coalition for the Homeless Fact Sheet). Know that building a relationship with someone might just add years to someone’s life. Don’t be afraid and don’t put too much pressure on yourself. The founder of New York City Relief likes to say, “God only uses one kind of person: those who show up.” Our homeless neighbors are precious in the eyes of God, which means that they must be precious in our eyes as well. Stop waiting for the perfect opportunity, just get out there and make it happen!

_______________________________________________

Posted under Uncategorized
Apr-23-2017

Willy Wonka Wisdom

Willy Wonka

The Greek playwright, Sophocles once wrote, “To be doing good deeds is man’s most glorious task.” Sophocles is alright, but I am more of a Willy Wonka man myself. In the movie Charlie And The Chocolate Factory, Wonka commented on young Charlie’s actions by saying, “So shines a good deed in a weary world”. I’m speaking of the 1971 version with Gene Wilder, not the remake with the creepier character portrayed by Johnny Depp.

Many times, we as Christians get sidetracked with “culture wars”. We can get stuck in just taking a stand against what is wrong in society, rather than doing what is right and good. This is what most people think of as religion: lists of do’s and don’ts, mostly don’ts. Our human efforts at this lean towards legalism that is void of any connection with God’s heart. We can easily forget what we are here to actually do.

Popular conference speaker and author Graham Cooke puts it this way,

“What if the biggest problem in America is not drugs, or pornography, or abortion, or poverty, or low education, or terrorism, or crime? What if the biggest problem in America is simply the lack of goodness? The Bible says we overcome evil with good, so why are we building more prisons than hospitals? Why are there “no go” areas in our major cities? Why do the police have to walk around in combat dress all the time? Why are certain areas of our culture and our society rabidly out of control? I think it’s because the church does not understand who she is, and she is so busy railing against sin, which is not our job. Our job is to bring down the goodness of God into the earth.”

Mans most glorious taskJesus backed up his preaching and lessons with action. His deeds were a living embodiment of what he taught. There was no difference between what he believed, taught and practiced.

There were times in the Bible when spiritual leaders took a tough public stand against what was wrong. For example, John the Baptist publicly pointed out Herod’s sin of marrying his brother’s wife. That got him beheaded. Jesus himself called the Jewish leaders snakes and hypocrites for their proud, manipulative behavior and that led to the cross. If we choose to take this route, we had better have a direct mandate from God to speak and be prepared for the potential consequences. The trend is that prophets usually get killed, because the accused shoot the messengers. If we take a hard stand, we also must be sure that our attitude is one of “loving our enemies” and “blessing those who curse us.” Easier said than done.

You may have heard the phrase that, “People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” It is much easier for people to receive the good news, when they can see tangible proof through our actions that this news really is good.

When we treat people like gold, they stop feeling like garbage.

Jesus teaches this approach in Matthew 5:16,

“Let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Whenever it says to do good deeds, the obvious question is “What kinds of good deeds?” Here are just three that God mentions through the prophet Isaiah:

Isaiah 58:7

  1. Share food with the hungry

  2. Provide the poor wanderer with shelter

  3. Clothe the naked

How much more do you think people will be prepared to believe in Jesus after you do these kinds of things for them? If you do the works of Jesus, you will instantly win respect. It is the natural response from honoring others and treating them with dignity. This is the strategy that we use on the 12 weekly outreaches to homeless friends that we operate with The Relief Buses.

When we treat people like gold, they stop feeling like garbage. Most people already feel lousy about themselves and wish they could be a better mother, father, son, daughter, spouse, friend or person. New York City Relief Senior Outreach Leader Brett Hartford (below with outreach team and friend) describes it this way,

Brett and lady

“I am convinced that we would all be a lot happier, more joyful, have more confidence in ourselves, and generally just like each other more if we took the time to remind each other WHO we are.

“There is so much negative reinforcement all around. People telling us that we aren’t good enough, not pretty, intelligent, driven, useful, fill in the blank…

“Tonight, during an outreach on foot that we do every week called Don’t Walk By, I had the opportunity to look a woman in the eye who is challenged with homelessness and start erasing all of that junk.

“I said, ‘You are beautiful. You are capable of doing it. You are not a failure. Your life is not over. You are not invisible. You can do it. You are lovable. God has not forgotten about you. He doesn’t think you’re worthless. He loves you. I love you.’

“Tears flowed. A crack in the hard shell that is used for protection.

“For women living on the streets, my heart breaks. How can I make them feel beautiful, cherished, and valued like God is trying to express to them every day by way of birds chirping, flowers rising out of the ground, and air in their lungs???

“Words. Eye contact. Hugs. Action.

“I told her words. I affirmed who she is, and not the junk of her past.

“I looked her in the eyes-straight into who she is, not what she looks like or smells like, but deep into her soul.

“I asked her if she would like a hug. She said yes.

“She didn’t just want a hug from me, but she asked for a hug from everybody on our team that night.

“Now we need to take more action. She needs resources. She needs knee surgery. She needs a place to lay her head at night that’s not a sidewalk or a guy’s bed who’s taking advantage of her.

“I invited her to come to The Relief Bus the next day for an appointment that we call a Life Care Visit. I told her we would love to sit down with her and figure out what she has tried, what her options look like, walk alongside of her and support her along the way.

“She is beautiful. I know it, now it’s time to start getting her to believe that as well.

“How can we do that better ourselves? Look for the beauty in each other. Look for the good stuff, and call it out. Love your neighbor.”

Brett is doing the first part of the verse in Isaiah 58:7-taking care of this woman’s physical needs. The results are described in verse 10:

and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,

It is what we DO by “spending ourselves” that allows God’s light to shine in the darkness so that the world can finally see who he really is and who they really are. “So shines a good deed in a weary world.”

 


Posted under Uncategorized
Mar-11-2017

Beggars CAN Be Choosers

Dwight

I have noticed that in many organizations that minister to the poor, the facilities are old, worn and generally lousy looking. That has always rubbed me the wrong way, because I don’t think it reflects how God really cares about the down and out. I think it sends the opposite message-that they don’t deserve any better. It may be that these places are doing the best they can with what they have, but it’s still sad for those who are already on the ropes to endure yet another environment that is depressing and grim.

A good friend of mine, Shawn Small, who leads an organization called Wonder Voyage which leads spiritual pilgrimages around the world, told me an interesting story. He brought a team of volunteers from out of state to work with The Relief Bus, our mobile soup kitchen and resource center for the homeless. A young woman was happily handing out delicious soup and bread to people when one man asked where the subway sandwiches were. She said that there were no sandwiches and that all they had to give out was soup, bread and hot chocolate. She followed up by lightheartedly saying, “Beggars can’t be choosers.” Immediately, realizing what she had said, the young woman was mortified and began to weep. The homeless man actually came inside of The Relief Bus to console and comfort her. Ironically, he ministered grace and forgiveness to the one who had come to help him.

In the kingdom of God, beggars can be choosers. Even if they are unemployed, addicted or suffering from their own bad decisions, their likes and dislikes matter. They don’t lose an ounce of value to God. Having preferences is part of what makes us human. To lose the ability to choose is degrading. I’m not talking about entitlement. Let someone else choose what you will eat and wear for a week and you will see what I mean. If you really want to test yourself, let someone else hold the remote control.

Poverty is not just a lack of funds or material goods. Poverty is also a lack of choices. Education, social connection and money give you more options in life. These things give us power to choose our preferred destiny. Some are born into families who have these resources, while others are born into generational poverty. Children are born into families that have not had jobs for generations. They are raised in an environment where they don’t know anyone who has ever finished high school, gone to college and become profitably employed. Never having been exposed to these opportunities, they are shaped by their environment and trapped in these pockets. This is unacceptable to God, so he intervenes by sending us, the body of Christ.

This is illustrated in a lesson that Jesus gave in Luke 14:12-14:

Then he turned to the host. “The next time you put on a dinner, don’t just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You’ll be—and experience—a blessing. They won’t be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned—oh, how it will be returned!—at the resurrection of God’s people.”

jesusdependent

Jesus told the dinner party that the social misfits in town should be the ones who get to choose the best dishes and wine being served. This lesson was pretty intense. When Jesus spoke about the type of people the host shouldn’t invite to the banquet: rich friends and neighbors, those were the very people were sitting around the table listening to his lesson. I’m sure it made them a little red in the face.

As my friend and CEO of the New York City Rescue Mission, Dr. Craig Mayes says, “We should give our best to the least.”

This wasn’t just a philosophical teaching that Jesus gave. He practiced what he preached. He fed thousands of hungry people and was himself publicly criticized for eating with the riff raff: “And the Pharisees and the scribes grumbled, saying, “This man receives sinners and eats with them.”” Luke 15:2

Right after the lesson to the party host, Jesus doesn’t let up even a little. He continues by telling a parable about a master who invited people to a wonderful feast. The invitees turned down the invitation because they were tied up with their success and material possessions, which they considered more important. This made the master angry, so he sent his servants out to bring in the poor and handicapped. They gladly accepted the generous invitation, but this still wasn’t enough for the master. He ordered the servants to go out to the streets to compel complete strangers and commoners to also join the party.

We are all just beggars showing other beggars where to find the bread.

 

This is what New York City Relief does every week. We go to the streets and bring a feast to those who would never be invited to a high society event or dinner. We prepare a place for those who have no place and give the very best that we can offer. We treat them like royalty and guests of honor by coming to serve. We call these people struggling with homelessness, addiction, mental illness and poverty our friends.

birthday cakeA great example of this is when we sometimes celebrate one of our homeless friend’s birthdays. Recently, all-star volunteer Jan Conklin brought a birthday cake for our friend Keith. He is a Marines veteran who is a good friend. Jan didn’t just go out and get any cake. She baked his favorite kind with vanilla icing. Keith’s birthday wish upon blowing out his candles: “I wish that this joy would never end.” Watch this video (left) to see Keith blow out the candles.

We give our best because it is one of our core values at NYCR:

Excellence: Consistent and reliable in always giving our best for the broken, to instill dignity.

Excellence can be a weird thing, because in striving for excellence it is possible to fall into the trap of doing great work to impress others and puff ourselves up. That kind of excellence isn’t very excellent at all. It’s self-serving. It reminds me of the verse that says,

“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.” 1 Corinthians 13:3-7

So being excellent for excellence’s sake or to feel good about ourselves is worthless. When we do our best out of true concern for those we serve, it builds up others up without causing them to feel bad for having received help. If they see that love is our true motivation, there is no shame in receiving, only comfort, healing and safety.

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We aim to be consistent and reliable, because in the life of a person challenged with homelessness, they need a place where they can find refuge from the chaos around them. They need to know that if they show up at this one place, the staff and volunteers will treat them well and care about them as a person. Having people they can really count on brings great comfort and stability. Knowing they are loved just for being themselves is powerful and helps stave off despair and hopelessness. Like Keith’s Marines who have the motto, Semper Fi, we can learn that to be excellent is to be ALWAYS FAITHFUL.

How about you? Are you someone’s port in a storm? Have you let people around you know that you are there for them? Have you nurtured the relationships at work or school so that others know they are important to you?  Are you a safe place for the broken and failed?

beggars_bread1

Love that is truly excellent never gives at someone else’s expense. Love instills dignity and value. Jesus gave us the choice to enter into everything he offers us. Love is humble and realizes that we are all just beggars showing other beggars where to find the bread. We can choose to love like Jesus did. Beggars CAN be choosers.

 


Posted under Uncategorized
Feb-16-2017

You Say You Want A R{EVOL}ution

gunhearts

JulieAn Introvert Unchained
Julie Stiefel first came to serve with New York City Relief through our mobile outreach to the homeless in 2003. She never imagined how dramatically her life would take a turn through volunteering:

“When first introduced to serving the homeless, street people, the poor and needy, the un-loved, I was terrified. Being, at that time, somewhat of an anti-social introvert without a solid idea of where I fit into God’s Kingdom.

“The eight plus years of serving with New York City Relief, and the Relief Bus, made such a major impact on my life that I am NOT the same person
that I was.

“Fast forward 15 or so years to the present – God has taken an introvert with a real fear of social situations, and TRANSFORMED that person into an extrovert with so much LOVE in my heart that it nearly BURSTS out and encompasses everyone around me. I have been told that God SHINES out of me!

“Though we now live in a small southern rural community I find that people here face the same issues, lacks, and needs in their lives. God has taught me, and given me, a boldness that could ONLY have come from Him! Many of our new friends keep coming back for more and I have been able to share the source of my Joy.

“In a nutshell, I credit God, and my friends and mentors at New York City Relief, with turning this once timid introvert into a bold, outspoken extrovert sharing His Love totally through relationship evangelism.”

LUISTremendously Changed
Luis Flores was homeless on the streets of New York City. He came to The Relief Bus every week for the delicious food. It was there that Luis met a volunteer who struck up a conversation with him. That volunteer offered to pray for Luis and he accepted. His life was never the same. Luis explained through tears,

“It was a simple prayer, but it brought tremendous change. I felt like a new man. I got housing and am continuing my education in aviation maintenance. The best part is my faith has grown stronger. I’m thinking about mission work and serving more on The Relief Bus and praying for others.”

It took months, but Luis tracked down that same volunteer. He now goes to the man’s church and worships together every week. Both have been forever changed by that day they met. Click on the video above to hear his story.

Both Julie and Luis were swept up in a LOVE REVOLUTION. Their stories illustrate our third C.O.R.E. value at New York City Relief:

Revolution: Life transformation for the homeless, the addicted and those who serve them.

The way The Relief Bus outreach endeavors to help our friends living on the streets to experience life transformation is to first build a relationship, so that they know we care. We start by breaking bread and sharing a cup of soup together. Then we offer connections to resources that can turn their lives around such as shelter, drug/alcohol detox and rehab, job information, and local churches. By using this strategy over the past 28 years, we have seen true miracles happen in people’s lives.

jesus chJesus himself was a radical revolutionary, but not like the zealots of his day that sought to throw off their oppressors through violent means. Jesus had come to infiltrate and subvert many systems: “might makes right”, caste systems, disenfranchisement of the poor, racism, patriarchal dominance, ageism and all other forms of injustice. In this Kingdom:

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. Galatians 3:28

Many of the Jews expected the messiah to overthrow their Roman oppressors. Usually, when a system is overthrown, it is through force and violence. This Jesus revolution was also violent, but all of it was directed toward Jesus himself instead of his enemies. Even though he could have struck down his enemies, Jesus knew the real battle was for the heart of mankind.

 

“We journey not as those who have much to give and who have all the answers, but as fellow travelers toward light and liberation.”

 

Jesus came to start not a political revolution, but a LOVE REVOLUTION. Other rulers would fight and scheme for dominance, but Jesus’ followers would lay down their lives for widows, orphans, misfits and outcasts of society. It shook the culture and spread like wildfire. The world had never seen anything like it.

Strangely, Jesus was an agent of change not from the top down, but from the bottom up. He aligned himself with the common man. Rather than rule through power and coercion, Jesus led by example: washing feet, touching lepers, embracing the broken, treasuring the rejected. He called his followers to not Lord authority over others, but to imitate him in becoming a servant to all.

No one could believe what they were hearing. This ran counter to everything they knew and accepted. This message was contagious, and out of the unconditional love and acceptance that people received, they turned from their old ways, sold what they had and gave to those who had not. Rather than seeing what they could get away with, they tried to see how much they could give away. A revolution had begun.

This new movement was one of personal and societal life transformation, but not in the way we usually think it will occur. The way we experience life transformation is not through having all the answers and figuring everything out. As Henri Nouwen said,

“We journey not as those who have much to give and who have all the answers, but as fellow travelers toward light and liberation.”

In this new paradigm, we give up control, lay down agendas and simply start loving people the way they are with no strings attached. We don’t seek a platform as much as a personal connection. The Kingdom of God is grassroots. Life transformation happens one person at a time. Viva la rEVOLution!

 

 


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Jan-15-2017

Escape From Fantasy Island!

Fantasy island

400 years ago, the English poet and cleric John Donne wrote, “No man is an island.” His meaning was that we only function healthily when we are connected to others. It’s true that we need one another way more than we could ever imagine. We are created to be intimately connected and since the fall of man we have been disconnected, disjointed and disappointed. Proof that, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” Genesis 2:18

Ricardo

Yesterday, I went out on a cold winter day to serve on a Relief Bus outreach on the streets of Harlem. I met many people who were starving for friendship, for intimacy, for oneness. A man named Ricardo (left) told me about the 30 years he spent in prison. After being separated from society all those years, now he lives in a homeless shelter, alone and trying to make it on his own. A woman named Daisy told me how she was abusing crack and was afflicted with HIV. A Peruvian man named Jim described his deeply dysfunctional family and how it led to his severe alcoholism.

Each one honored me by sharing the most difficult issue in their life. The burden was too much to bear alone. They needed a fellow traveler in the journey to help carry the load. Somehow they knew that pain shared is pain not doubled, but halved. That is a lesson that I need to learn. Maybe that is why we are commanded, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

tattoo

One of the greatest human needs is to be connected to others. The more we are connected, the healthier we are. The more disconnected we are, the sicker we are–and we are generally sicker than we think. Whenever man becomes an island unto himself, he is living on Fantasy Island and is disconnected from reality. I can hear Tattoo shouting, “Da plane! Da plane!” Look it up Millennials. And no, Fantasy Island was not a reality show where they voted people off the island.

The Relief Bus is designed to become a bridge from these “islands” to family. The Bible calls this spiritual family a body. This body has many parts, but each one needs the other to function properly.

One of the cultural hallmarks that epitomizes what it means to be an American is “rugged individualism”. We are proud to be independent and free, to chart our own course and pursue our own destiny. The freedom we have been given is nothing less than revolutionary. Unfortunately, sometimes we get lost in our freedom and become so self-focused on our own destiny that we lose our sense of responsibility for our neighbor, our brother and the community around us. Even as Christians, it is possible to lose God’s heart for the other, the outsider.

no-man-is-an-island-dwight

Just as being born an American citizen allows us to enjoy certain inalienable rights, being “born again” as a Christian requires us to give up those same rights on behalf of others. Loving others isn’t about getting our way. It’s about laying down our lives for others the way that Jesus did for us. “He became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich.” 2 Cor. 8:9

Family, community and deep relationships are essential to our wellbeing. Our friends challenged with homelessness are surrounded by people, yet find themselves completely isolated. Cut off from love, many times they wither and become shells of their true selves—ghosts who drift through our society, invisible to the masses around them.

One of our core values at New York City Relief is ONENESS which we define as:

Fighting for each other’s hearts” to achieve deep relationship and intimate community with our friends on the streets, and each other.

Jesus describes how oneness is the whole point and his recipe for changing the world:

The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind— Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you, So they might be one heart and mind with us. Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me… Then they’ll be mature in this oneness, And give the godless world evidence That you’ve sent me and loved them In the same way you’ve loved me.” John 17:20-23 MSG

Cut off from love, many times they wither and become shells of their true selves—ghosts who drift through our society, invisible to the masses around them.

 

 

Some of us accept the concept of being one with God, but one with each other? That’s just asking too much. People are too difficult. This is where we are required to fight, not with each other, but for each other. That is fighting the good fight of faith. We were designed to be peacemakers.

Mother Teresa described it this way, “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”

quote-if-we-have-no-peace-it-is-because-we-have-forgotten-that-we-belong-to-each-other-mother-teresa-29-21-26

It is going to take a lot of effort to overcome the cultural inertia of just taking care of our own business and living a life of “every man for himself.” Many people really believe that God helps those who helps themselves. If that was true, we would all be doomed. God helps us because he knows we can’t help ourselves. That is exactly why Jesus came on a mission to rescue us.

Jesus doesn’t call us into oneness with those who have it all together or those who are worthy. He calls us into oneness with people who are messed up just like us. Jesus is the magnet that pulls us all together into himself.

This oneness looks like intimacy. Intimacy is the goal that God sets for us. We are called to be intimate with God and each other.

How do you know if you are achieving oneness and intimacy? One clue is that true friends tell each other the things that they can’t say to just anyone. To be intimate means to be vulnerable, and to trust someone with the real you. True friends trust each other with their flaws and failures–their secrets.

Ricardo, Daisy and Jim each told me their secrets, because I pressed in close enough to listen and hear their heart’s cry. Each one touched me and changed me. Each one was trusting God for breakthrough in their lives. Each one fulfilled this scripture to teach me about faith:

Listen, my dear brothers and sisters: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? James 2:5 (NIV)

They honored me with their dark secrets and I honored them with listening ears and a non-judging heart. We met as equals and our hearts united as one. We “drank of one Spirit” (1 Cor. 12:13) as we prayed together, experiencing Jesus in the midst of us.

We assume that it is the poor who need us, when it is equally us who need the poor. When we see our position accurately, the walls that divide us begin to crumble. It is the poor who Jesus used to free us from the illusions of being self-made people, trapped by our independence. We are the ones who are isolated. They are the bridge from our Fantasy Island to a life of interdependence with our brothers and sisters. They give us a place to live the love of Jesus and to share the material blessing we were entrusted with. They free us from narcissism, separation and indifference. Their lives are the richness our heart aches for. When we meet the poor, we meet Jesus himself. (Matt. 25) He uses them to feed us what we are starving for. The feast is ONENESS. Dig in!

 


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