Many people challenged with homelessness live on the streets with their pets. They love these animals so much that they will often feed their pets before themselves. Some cities actually provide not only housing for their homeless citizens, but a cat or dog to keep them company in their new dwelling. They understand that good pets are therapeutic and healthy.
I want to talk about another kind of pet that isn’t so healthy: pet peeves. A pet peeve is an action that a particular person finds especially annoying. Everyone has pet peeves and many of them are quite common:
1. Leaving the toilet lid up
2. WRITING IN ALL CAPS
4. Chewing with your mouth open
5. Perpetual lateness
6. Someone eating off of your plate
7. Dawdling in the airport security line
8. Not picking up your dog’s poop
9. Letting your baby cry or your phone ring in the middle of a church service
10. Not wiping down equipment at the gym
Pet peeves are a lot of little petty irritations that can multiply over time into a lifestyle of perpetual disgruntlement or even petulance. They are the clutter of the mind and the mud on the lenses through which we view the world around us. Some see beauty all around us, while others see nothing but idiots getting in our way.
The “pet” in pet peeve is descriptive of how we coddle and nurture our offenses. They are cute little things that we feed until they become big vicious monsters. Are we willing to clean house and get rid of our pet peeves before they bite us?
Pet peeves can cause perfectly normal people go from worshipping along to a song in their car one minute, to cursing and giving the finger to someone who cuts them off the next. It is an area of our life that we give completely over to the flesh.
I have been in the car when my father, Richard Galloway, is driving and someone cuts him off. It can be a scary thing that brings a visceral reaction in me like, “Whoah! That guy almost killed us!” My father, however, is never shaken. Most of us would be justifiably angry, but instead of losing his cool, he immediately forgives them in the moment. It is a mark of great character, especially when you consider what it is like to drive in New Jersey. It teaches me and amazes me to this day.
Pet peeves are not commonly well thought through. They are gut reactions that happen in the moment. Those reactions are usually of immediate disgust. One of my mentors as a teenager was my youth pastor, Spencer Nordyke. He described our hearts as barrels. When the challenges of life tip us over, whatever is inside the barrel spills out. If it is full of poop, we yell “Oh bleep!”. If we are full of honey, then that is what spills out. “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” Luke 6:45. In other words, pet peeves are an indicator of what is hidden in our heart.
Let’s call pet peeves what they really are-areas of offense. An offense is an annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one’s standards or principles. In other words, “How dare you sir!” Pet peeves are our hot buttons.
When we take offense, we don’t think of all the similar offensive acts that we ourselves have committed (or are committing). We place all of the blame for our anger upon the offender and take no responsibility for our reaction. In fact, our reaction could be much worse than the actual act of offense.
“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. Matthew 5:21-22
The word “Raca”, is derived from a root meaning “to spit.” Ever been so mad at someone that it made you want to spit? It’s easy for us to excuse our contempt for others, because it’s mostly happening out of public sight in our minds, but Jesus calls it mental murder.
When offense is given, no one has to take it.
There is a line in the song, “Baptize My Heart” by Misty Edwards that says, “I don’t want to be offended when it’s all coming down.” I love this song because it reminds me that petty offenses are a waste of my time and energy. They suck away at my soul and I just don’t have time for that nonsense.
The interesting thing about offense is that when offense is given, no one has to take it. When friends offer to give me their real pets, I kindly turn them down because I explain that I have four children and can’t manage any more wild animals. 😉
When a pet peeve tries to set up camp in my mind, I can reject it. I can put that pet down instead of letting it take up residence. I can be free to pardon others and hold nothing against them. This is the very gift that Jesus gives to me-mercy.
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. Micah 6:18
Mercy is the lifestyle that I want to nurture, develop and feed. Mercy isn’t based upon others performance, but upon the forgiveness I myself have received. It is light and not burdensome, because it lets go of the right to punish and judge. Mercy embraces the opportunity to love-not as a chore, but rather a delight. Mercy fills your barrel up with honey. How sweet it is.
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